Relationships in Anguish

When your relationship is in turmoil it is overwhelming. The grief and despair you feel is so great that finding your way out seems too daunting. Often we just want a quick fix but this is not possible and we tend to turn to our friends or others to find the answers and support.

Finding good support is essential as you need to talk but take the time to consider things carefully, as making a spontaneous decision often leads to more heartache. You are not thinking clearly and you just want to lash out at him or whoever seems to be standing in your way.

The most important thing is you and your family are safe - the rest you can work through slowly step by step with a goal to being in a better, stronger and more empowered position.

Firstly keep talking to family or friends. Seek counselling or professional help from your doctor about how you are feeling and try not to look for a quick fix as where you are now is a process that takes time. Feeling the way you are can take you two ways - up or down and you need to find the solutions to take you up. The sooner you realise that you can achieve this, the more empowered your life will become.

Your intuition will be cloudy but by working through the crisis slowly, you will start to see and feel clearer and your instincts will develop, helping you more as each day passes. You will start to find "You" again and see all your strengths and abilities that have been hidden in the past.

Your life will feel like a mess and all you feel like doing is sitting around thinking and trying to find answers. You phone him and ask “why?” In the early stages calling him will set you back as he usually has no idea of where he is going either. Until you are feeling stronger and have a definite idea of what you are feeling you are only torturing yourself more.

Your head is full of negative chatter that seems to control you, taking you emotionally down to new all-time lows.

You need to gather yourself back together but how do you do this?

Planning a daily/weekly routine (you must write this routine down) makes all the difference.

Some woman have not nurtured their needs for years so nurture yourself by

• Cooking good food  
  
• Starting an exercise plan.
  
• Clean your house (cleaning windows really helps to give clarity and answers)
  
• Change your bedroom around and get some new bed linen
  
• Clean out your wardrobe so you dress differently by accessing all those items  in the back of your wardrobe or if the budget allows, buy a few new things
  
• Change your hair style and colour
  
• Take long baths in essential oils
  
• Read motivational books
  
• Spend time with people who make you feel good and do things that you haven’t done for ages.
  
• Sometimes it helps to put away photos and objects that remind you of him.
  
• Try ensuring your sole motivation is not just doing anything to get him back.

Work on yourself and discover where things started to break down. Focus on those points.

There is no rush. Write a list of where you want to be and work on a plan of how to get there. The most important thing is to build your confidence and physically move, as sitting still only immobilises your emotions.

Once you have done all of the above there are a few spells that may help you.

When you have a broken heart there is nothing worse as love hurt is deep and cuts you to the core. You feel like you have lost a piece of your soul and nothing can mend the whole or retrieve it. When you reconnect to you again your inner guidance system will show you what to do, you will stop reacting to everything and everyone and finally heal and move on to so much more.

Never lose who you are! You have so much to offer so don't hide but remember, dig deep and find that empowering strength that all women have inside and embrace it.